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Hello,
Been a while since I have been on here, but need some brainpower on this issue. First a bit of background. I am getting a divorce from my wife after a long history of verbal, emotional and physical abuse from her. The past 11 years I thought it was normal and even justified her doing so (I didn’t do everything right, wasn’t loving enough, investment errors, etc.) and in the last 5 months realized it wasn’t all my fault. Being an organized person, I tried in June and July to work through the details of the divorce with her (Parenting plan, monthly support, asset division) so the court wouldn’t decide our fate (Pete: Going to court is soul destroying).
July 25 she took off with my kids and loaded firearms and would not communicate with me. I was shocked and upset at the same time. I later found out her family planned the whole thing. She has tried to create the narrative that I am the abuser/liar, deserve only limited time with my kids, etc. She continues to come into the house when I am not home. I could change the locks, but she could get a locksmith. I am working with my lawyer (blah) to move through the dissolution process, but that is slow. I will be leaving for a long business trip (still need W-2 income) and don’t want her coming into the house when I am away. While all the valuable items are out, I don’t want it to be a free reign for her or worse her moving back in. Here’s where I need your help.
I thought, what would Jack Miller do? So I came up with the plan to rent a furnished house out to someone I could trust. I would make it a year lease. Of course, as often times happens, people may sign a year lease, but then break it early. That would indeed be unfortunate. I am sure I would be willing to work with someone if they fell on hard times and were only able to stay a month. What is your thoughts on renting the house out?
Thanks,
Greg.
Greg, you might give some thought to what kind of arrangement might help keep your ex-to-be from turning your tenant’s life into a living hell. I know you’re familiar with David Tilney’s master leasing concepts. (You and I met in Dallas some years ago at David’s event.) I’m wondering if there might be a place for a provision in a master leasing arrangement for your house that restricts all inspections of the property, control over the utilities, etc and contact with the tenants to a master leasing individual of your choice, so that neither you nor “anyone else on the house title” could terrorize the tenants. Clearly, such a provision would work best if your chosen master leasing person was someone you had complete confidence in.You might also consider running your challenge by David. He might have, or know people who have, some special insight into such matters.
Good luck in finding the best possible solution. This is probably one of the most unique challenges we’ve seen on CFD in many years.
–Dee
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Greg, I’m also thinking that the idea I described was just a rough skeleton. Here on CFD, we certainly have no idea whether you live in a community property state, or a separate property state, and what, if any, rules and case law your state might have about property decisions “in contemplation” of a divorce. I know that in federal bankruptcy cases, there are such rules in advance of filing for BK, eg., which if ignored, can give the federal BK judge grounds to undo some carefully laid plans in progress.I’m thinking that to put some flesh on the bones of that skeleton so it can be made to dance for you, you probably need some expert legal advice on family law in your state on what you have in mind, and that might well include some conversations about master leasing if your divorce attorney is (likely) not familiar with that subject. He might even need to confer with a legal expert in that area who David Tilney might recommend. I’m just guessing here.
Again, good luck in navigating some of the toughest decision making that anyone could ever face.
–Dee
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Y’all might find some advice I found recently about fending off burglars, lightning fast and very much on the cheap, to be noteworthy. The advice came from an interview with a convicted burglar. The theory is that burglars prefer to avoid a dog confrontation at all costs, and especially a big dog. So the recommendation was to place an only partly filled doggie dish with dog food beside the back door. Not a little bitty chihuahua-sized dish, but something a Doberman might appreciate.Seems like a near instant solution, while one is contemplating all the electronic solutions, with their technical and pricing tradeoffs. That might even be handy for people without all the pressure that Greg is facing.
–Dee
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Thanks everyone. My friend is willing to rent it, but he can’t stay all the time (he is on military disability and in a wheelchair 25% of the time). I was going to use a standard Tilney lease with him putting his name on at least the electric bill. I just changed the gas bill to my name today and the water bill was in my name anyways.
So I’m leaving for a month on Thursday and I will be gone out of state, so I need to figure this out quick. I am working the lease right now. I am wondering how deep I need to make this. Utilities? Tenant paying at my bank like the rest of the people? Run an add on craigslist? Not sure how much effort I should put into it.
Love the dog idea for when I get back-should have done that right away.
The underwhelming response I got from my attorney was :
No you cannot rent for a variety of reasons. It is unfortunate about the kids, but hopefully you can complete mediation in rather short order.
I remember Jack saying never let your lawyers do your thinking for you. That was an underwhelming response. I want to know what are some these reasons. And are they legal reasons with code?
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Regarding your attorney’s “underwhelming” explanation, I would be very unhappy about his unwillingness (or inability?) to explain to you those reasons. Either would shake my confidence in his ability to be useful to you. Would those undisclosed reasons reveal any conflict of interest between what’s in your best interest versus his billing plan to be a part of your mediation process? I don’t know, but his secrecy seems very disappointing.I realize you have an all-too-short time fuse before you leave town for a month. I’m thinking that when your schedule permits, some comparison shopping for an attorney might be in order. My gut feel says there’s something really wrong, even though I don’t have but a fraction of the facts that you know about.
–Dee
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I’m also thinking that since your friend with the military disability can only be around a fraction of the time, that’s probably a very short term solution. In the larger cities (and I have no idea where you are or what you’re close to), there are readily available companies that act as intermediaries for house sitters. Such sitters are already vetted, bring along their own minimal furnishings, pay a greatly reduced (from market) rent because they understand that a house could be sold quickly, so they are fully prepared to move out on short notice. (My brother and his family once acted as house sitters while his house in a previous city sat on the market for a couple of years. He kept the bulk of his home furnishings in a storage warehouse during that time.)I grew up in deep rural America where even though it was heavily Christian, the long timers well understood that once it became known locally that a house had gone vacant, it WOULD be broken into, burglarized, and stripped. I of course have zero knowledge of your local circumstances.
But your attorney’s “advice” would even seem to preclude using a house sitter — which seems like he prefers for you to commit property suicide. Just more reasons why I think you need some far better legal advice, a lighting timer with some randomly changing settings (for when your friend can’t stick around), etc, etc.
–Dee
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Sorry about your situation Greg. Sorry I did not chime in on a solution earlier. I agree with what everyone else has said. You may also be able to get a restraining order against your wife coming anywhere near the property.
When you get back, get one of those Ring.com doorbells so you can always see who is outside at the door and even when you are not there you can tell them you are in the middle of cooking and cannot come to the door. Makes it appear you are home even when you aren’t.
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